no no no no no

You’ve got to be FUCKING KIDDING ME

Is it because I said something? Is it because I said something about Slendy showing up for seemingly no reason that made me want to give him reason for being there therefore giving him thought power and REASON?

A kid died. Well, that’s not what they said on the news. On the news they said a “child went missing”. 

Vanished. Poof. It was my neighbor’s little boy… yes the neighbor’s whose house I used to see the Slenderman lurking behind. Maybe I somehow caused this to happen by questioning things? It took him long enough to make a move so now I feel like it probably wasn’t just something he had said “oops, I forgot I was going to abduct this kid! Let me go back and grab ‘im!” No, I feel like I did this. 

Did I do this? Is that how thought forms work? Taking the words a little TOO FUCKING LITERALLY FOR COMFORT. I THOUGHT that it was weird that the Slenderman was just randomly there a couple of months ago. I THOUGHT that maybe he was there thinking about taking someone else from one of the neighbor’s houses. And so life FORMED that idea into a child mysteriously vanishing one morning back into the little swamp at the dead end of our street? THAT’S NOT OKAY.

Oh gods I did this didn’t I? I don’t have that kind of power though, right? My thoughts alone couldn’t have that kind of power. He was going to anyways BUT WHY SO LATE. It was me. Shit it was me.

It’s not right. It’s not fair. That poor family. Those poor parents. Those parents will probably never see their son again. That family will never be the same again. They won’t get to have family dinners or spend the holidays together. What about Mother’s day? What about Father’s day? Their plans for his future? He was only seven! The kid was only seven and now he will only ever be seven. When his birthday rolls around there won’t be a happy gathering of his friends and presents around a candle covered cake that says happy birthday you little eight year old ball of happiness and energy and promise, NO! 

He’s gone.

He’s gone and it’s probably actually my fault. 

Oh shit I should have been the one to get hurt. I’m the one questioning all of this stuff. I thshould have been me. It shouldhavebeen me.